The Rules

The other day I was chasing Hailey around the house and tickling her until she would beg me to stop, almost crying. As soon as I would stop she would get up and stand less than a foot from me, taunting me so that I would tickle her again. She will do this all day. She loves it.

During one of the times that I have her all wrapped up like a pretzel, she yells for Hannah to help her. Hannah doesn’t like to be tickled. Hannah sheepishly makes her way over and starts pulling on Hailey’s leg to try and “save” her. That’s sort of like trying to save a fish from drowning. As soon as she’s saved, she jumps right back in. I warn Hannah that if she wants to get involved, she’ll be involved. That is met with Kung Fu to my leg. I snatch Hannah up and tickle her, just a little, and let her go.

Holy smokes. You would think the world was coming to an end. Hannah goes away and Queen Drama from Dramatopia comes out. Tears are flowing, she jerks away, and runs in my room….burying herself in my covers.

I go in and lay with her. I try to comfort her and she yells “JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.”

“Fine” I say. “Come talk to me when you aren’t crying anymore.” I say as I leave.

“DADDY!!!” she shrieks, “YOU AREN’T SUPPOSED TO LEAVE!!”

“Um….what? You told me to leave.” I say.

“That’s the problem, you don’t know the rules.” She says.

Funny thing is, she was serious. No smiling, no laughing. Apparently there are rules. I tell her to write them down for me so that I will know what they are. When I came home tonight, they were written down.

Now, I’m no legal expert, but I think I have a problem here. Rule #1 clearly states that if I am told to leave that I, in fact, should not leave. #3 states that I am to do what she says, or else. What the hell do I do? Do I stay or do what she says?

Dang it. These rules are really of no help. All of you girls are crazy. Some are crazier than others, but you are all crazy.

Nine years old. That’s all she is. Can you imagine the rules in 6 years?

Pray for me.

Please, pray for me.