Tonight, I got challenged to a dance off, by a 5 year old. And lost.


Somehow during dinner, Ian made mention of his, now famous, dance moves.


I made the mistake of letting him know that daddy used to kick it back in the day.
And then it happened.


"Well, let's see what moves you got."


Now, I gotta say that I did actually do a little experimental breakdancing in my day. I used to be rocking the parachute pants and the big sneakers. I used to spray the lemon pledge all over the tile floor in the basement and practice backspins after school, doing the freeze, hell, I could even do the worm! Oh yea, I was all kinds of hip. Are you feeling the sarcasm?


So here I am, 37 years old, standing in my kitchen, washing the dishes, and being trashed talked by a 5 year old dancing machine. Ian doesn't care who's watching, he'll tear it up. I wasn't going to do it. I'm not much for being embarrassed by a kid, or giving my family more humorous ammunition on me than they already have. But everybody seemed disappointed that I was going to chicken out.


All right, little man. It's on.


Amber got him all decked out in shorts and a hoodie, complete with a bandanna. I came out in similar threads, and after confiscating all recording devices, I made way for the dance floor.

Amber even went so far as to get a song lined up for him on the music station on tv. Ian worked his moves to Young Joc's, "It's Goin' Down". I chose something a little more old school. Young MC's, "Bust a Move".


Ian threw down his intro and passed it off to me at the end of a decent backspin. It got the crowd roaring. Psshh, whatever.


And just then, a time portal appeared, and this skinny little white kid from the 80's, hit the dance floor, and TORE IT UP! Or at least I thought. I knew I should have broke out the Nucleus, "Jam on it".


After Ian and I traded off a few times, I ran out of moves and passed it back to him. He finished me off by taking off his hoodie and throwing it to the 17 year old hottie in the front row. That was it. I was finished. The judges loved his moves. They actually never saw mine because they were laughing so hard, their eyes had swollen shut.


I had lost the dance off. Here I am, posing with the winner.