A rare shot of my lady in sterile room cloths and mask.

Long-term cancer is the ultimate stress-test for a relationship. The healthy partner sees her/his partner's condition deteriorate fast, and that's even more depressing for the healthy partner then for the sick one, in my opinion.

So you might ask, "how did/do we handle my sickness?"

My Lady and I agreed upon not regarding me as sick and moribund, and about not letting our lives circle around my sicknes (as far as possible).

One who has cancer is sure sick, yes.

But he/she must accept this, and that's it (in my opinion)*. It makes no sense to let one's thinking circle about the fact of being sick and the possibility of an untimely demise. Better try to live your life, try to make the most of it. After all, everbody who lives will die one day...

Also we agreed that I would never moan like a sissy in her presence when I was feeling bad. After all, what should she do about it?
"Dogs and males don't tolerate compassion" she told me, and what she means is that both dogs and males really work themselves up on the idea of being so poor and so sick and deserving lots of pity...:-)

It sound kind of hard, but she has a point there - we agreed to let the people in charge /in the hospital handle my problems.

And something that I realized soon was: your partner suffers more from you being ill then you yourself. Yes, that's right. So understand that he/she sometimes needs a timeout from all the mess you two are in.

*There are those people who think a cancer-patient must fight, *fight*, FIGHT!
I do not think so.
I rather think that a cancer-patient must accept, and suffer, and learn, and laugh, and cry, and love, and hate, and hope, and trust fate.

"just: be."