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A week or so before she died, Deni asked me what I wanted done with my body when I died. I said I wanted to be cremated and my ashes spread at some particular spots on the Blue Ridge Parkway, because I had helped do that for a couple we knew, and really liked the idea. She wrinkled her nose in dismay, and eventually said "Well, that's what I want too, then, because I want to be with you." I was surprised and very touched, because I knew she was unsure about the hereafter, and felt she might possibly need her body again some day.
As Deni was dying, I told her since she was going first, she could change her mind and be buried if she preferred, and I would follow suit. She wrinkled her nose again, was silent for a long time, and finally said "shredded". While I didn't know what that meant, I didn't want to upset her, so I just said "OK, then that's what we'll do" and dropped the subject. Afterwards, Lynn Ades said she had told Deni about shredding her newspapers as mulch in the garden, and she was sure Deni was telling me she still wanted to be cremated, and just couldn't think of the right word.
And so she was.